


taekwoon mumbles because

by hobijam



Category: VIXX
Genre: Gen, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, f slur warning, the taekyeon is p much platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:10:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4838132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobijam/pseuds/hobijam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakyeon gets the first inkling of a clue when he uses Taekwoon's deodorant. </p><p>aka closeted/stealth trans!taekwoon and ally!hakyeon</p>
            </blockquote>





	taekwoon mumbles because

Since the day they met, Taekwoon only mumbles his words, pushing them out deliberately and quietly. Sometimes he’s louder, when he cries out in anger or embarrassment at another group member, and his voice is shrill. (Though not as much as screaming Sanghyuk.) But the times that make Hakyeon wonder most about why Taekwoon hides his voice are his performances, when Taekwoon lets himself go and reach his high, pure notes in singing. Glorious, gorgeous high notes. Taekwoon can sing with a range like no other, beautifully pushing his vocals out from the base of his core to the heated air of stage.

A beautiful singer must be a beautiful speaker, right?

Hakyeon gets the first inkling of a clue when he accidentally uses Taekwoon’s deodorant. Or, more specifically, what would be Taekwoon’s deodorant had it not been hollowed out and shoved full of tampons.

“Butt stuff...” Wonsik murmurs contemplatively when Hakyeon discusses it in private. After the younger bursts into laughter, Hakyeon makes a mental note not to discuss any future findings with immature Wonsik.

The next slipup comes in a month, when Taekwoon uncharacteristically forgets his cellphone on the worn wood laminate while refilling a water bottle in the hallway of the dance studio. It buzzes and lights up with a new message, giving Hakyeon just enough time to see a text with the words ‘tell them yet?’ emblazoned amongst other, less meaningful characters. The sender is labeled ‘ Rin Hi <3,’ whom Hakyeon instantly remembers as Taekwoon’s older sister, the woman who he idolized yet who never did much more than tease her younger brother.

‘Tell us what?’ He muses. But no matter how much it eats at him, Hakyeon doesn’t ask. Everyone has their secrets, and he can only hope that Taekwoon will come to trust him with time.

That night Taekwoon appears in the bathroom while Hakyeon is performing his nightly skincare routines, shutting the door quickly and enveloping them in silence.

“What’s up, Taekwoon?” Hakyeon does his best to seem open and friendly, but can only do so much in a green face mask. Taekwoon, eyes darting from Hakyeon to the door to the tub and back to Hakyeon, panics, mumbles, ‘nothing,’ and exits.

Hakyeon sighs. He can’t just force this out of him, can he?

“Taekwoon,” Hakyeon knocks on the door of the room he and Taekwoon share, listening to the customary scuffle and then, nearly mute, ‘come in,’ murmured by his roommate. Taekwoon in already in bed, most likely tired from how he was teased for his answers in an earlier interview. Hakyeon shuts the door behind him, darkening the room and muffling Wonsik’s drunken laughter at something Jaehwan had done.

“Hey, Taekwoonie,” Hakyeon drops himself onto the foot of Taekwoons bed, sighing and leaning back against the wall, “You don’t need to worry about the interview today… That was a stupid question anyway, in my opinion.”

Earlier, at a panel, Taekwoon had been cornered by the host, who was asking why he never spoke full volume, ‘maybe because our chic vocalist Leo has such a high pitched voice, hu? Pretty, like a girls!’

Even Jaehwan and Wonsik, who began to joke with the host at first, were made uncomfortable by the prying, and the way Taekwoon looked close to tears.

“I’m not a woman. I just have a high voice.” Taekwoon suddenly states, quiet voice holding a certain intensity that makes Hakyeon freeze.Choosing his words carefully, Hakyeon replies gently, “Did the interview really mess with you that much? Taek, we love you no matter what, you know.”

Taekwoon is silent and Hakyeon fears that he chose the wrong words. “I know.” Taekwoon rolls over, pulling up his blanket, and Hakyeon knows that the conversation is over.

“We love you no matter what, Taekwoonie.”

Hakyeon has more than an inkling of an idea at this point. In fact, he hopes that he has it completely figured out, and that he isn’t just jumping to conclusions. He’s never met someone who is transgender before, and while he doesn’t know much, he knows enough. Enough meaning he knows what a struggle Taekwoon must have, growing up in a traitorous body and coping with changes that weren’t supposed to happen. He knows that Korea is a dangerous place for transgender people, and that Taekwoon must be so thankful to his accepting family. And he knows that he could never, ever force Taekwoon to tell Hakyeon. He’d just have to wait until the younger is ready.

Absentmindedly, Hakyeon pulls at Taekwoon’s blankets so they cover the vocalist’s bare feet, before straightening up, turning off the lights, and exiting the room. Hakyeon, unnoticed by the four awake members of VIXX, takes a moment to watch them.

Wonsik, mouth coarse from his rapping circles and friends, calls Hongbin a fag when the younger man loses a game of jenga. Hakyeon grimaces when he notices the way Hongbin almost imperceptibly flinches back at the word.

“Hey, Wonsik.” Hakyeon calls. “Act we’re still on camera like we were for the MyDol show, ok? Your vocabulary needs cleaning.”

“Hu?” Wonsiks droopy eyes widen for a minute as he looks at his leader questioningly. “It wasn’t meant to be an insult, but sure.”

“Don’t say it if you don’t want to hurt someone.” Hakyeon replies. Hongbin looks ready to interject, say that ‘ _oh, it’s fine, I understand’_ in that self-sacrificing way of his, but Hakyeon holds up a hand. “Don’t ever use that to hurt someone.”

“Okay, _mom_.” Wonsik rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling slightly, and Hakyeon knows he was heard and understood.

“Thanks, Wonsikkie.”

Even if Taekwoon isn't ready to say anything, Hakyeon is going to try his damnedest to make the band a safe place to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> a friend pointed out that the reason Leo's voice is so high could be because he's trans (not many trans men get deep voices even after they're on T for a long long time) and I couldn't stop seeing it.


End file.
